A New Way to Look at Female Behavior
Things are going well with the woman in your life. You rarely argue, you really enjoy her company, and the sparks are flying in every direction between you two. Then all of a sudden, she explodes on you for something so incredibly outlandish that you can’t help but wonder if you’re being punk’d by Ashton Kutcher and his mischievous cohorts.
Her emotional blow up comes out of left field and catches you completely off guard. The more you try to explain yourself the worse it gets. The result? She slowly descends into a full emotional meltdown; fluctuating between irrational anger and hysterical crying while you feebly attempt to apologize to her for something you’re no longer sure you’re innocent of.
So what in the name of Davy Crockett is going on here? Well, my friend, you just failed a woman’s test. It’s sad to say because you probably didn’t have any idea that you were actually taking one. In an attempt to restore harmony once again you resort to endless apologies, a bouquet of “I’m
sorry” flowers, and a solemn promise to “make things right again” even though you didn’t do anything wrong in the first place.
So what’s a man to do? Well, the first step is to recognize what is really going on when women behave this way and secondly, learn how to approach these situations with the mindset of a mature, masculine man.
The Mature Approach – Changing the Way You Think
It’s essential that men change their paradigms when it comes to dealing with a difficult, emotional, or demanding woman. The reason? A man can only take so much emotional abuse from a woman before he eventually breaks down or loses it altogether. That breaking point may come ten to twenty years later in a marriage or it may come a few months into a new relationship.
The fact is, being tested by a woman and not understanding what’s really going on underneath the surface causes a man to experience deep-rooted feelings of anger, frustration, bitterness, and resentment – all the emotions that cause him to fall out of love and eventually despise a woman. A man may find himself extremely demoralized over time if his woman constantly tests him and he doesn’t know how to respond successfully.
As he fails her tests, she begins to withhold her respect, support, and physical affection from him. Therefore, he begins to feel unloved, misunderstood, and disrespected. No matter how strong he thinks he is, over time his armor will crack until he starts feeling resentment and bitterness. Sadly, once a man’s feelings of bitterness towards his woman begin to overwhelm him he will move beyond simply despising the woman he once cared for. Instead he’ll move into the most dangerous state of all – indifference. The man who is indifferent towards his woman doesn’t care what happens to her or the relationship. At this point, the poor guy has officially “checked out” of the relationship and is only one argument away from calling it quits. That is of course, if his equally frustrated wife or girlfriend hasn’t already initiated her own exit strategy.
Unfortunately, some guys just don’t know that women naturally test men. However, when they are tested they KNOW when they’ve said or done the “wrong” thing. It’s a gut feeling men get when they know something’s wrong but they don’t have a clue as to what’s going on and how they can possibly fix it. It’s like what Morpheus said in the film, The Matrix. It feels like a “splinter in your mind.” You know you’re failing something because she’s unhappy, you’re unhappy, and when you try to say or do something to fix it things only get worse.
This sort of thing happens a lot more often than men and women realize.
And while it may be extremely agonizing for a woman to be with a man who constantly fails her tests, it is overwhelmingly painful for a man to feel as if nothing he does can make his woman happy. When a man interprets a woman’s testiness as being mean or emotionally abusive he will not respond in a way that leads to a harmonious solution. Instead, he habitually internalizes her tests as personal attacks and over time the damage to his self-esteem will be near insurmountable.
Even good guys who genuinely love their wives or girlfriends can reach the point of emotional coldness where they no longer feel anything for a woman. Consider this the next time you hear of a man divorcing his wife or breaking up with his girlfriend for “no apparent reason.” A major factor that causes some relationships to self-destruct for “no apparent reason” is because of a miscommunication; where a woman tests her man hoping that he’ll man up and assert himself but instead he does the complete opposite and supplicates to her demands. The problem isn’t that he’s incapable of standing up for himself and standing up to her; the problem is a miscommunication due to a lack of understanding.